Ann Coulter: Thank you, you’re very kind. You’re very kind. I’m Ann Coulter and if you’d like to hear my remarks in English please press or say one now. (Applause!) So I’m thinking of writing a book on national healthcare. It’ll be 2,000 pages long and you’ll have two hours to read it. So what a difference a year makes.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: This time last year the Republican Party, according to the media, was finished, dead, moribund, it was the beginning of the Democrats’ 1,000 year reich. But this year we have a new governor in Virginia, a new governor in New Jersey, Scott Brown has taken Teddy Kennedy’s old seat.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: And polar bears are in Tennessee trying to mate with Al Gore. In fact I just heard Miami was awarded the Olympics, the Winter Olympics for 2014. The fact that a Republican is in the late Senator Kennedy’s old seat must have him rolling in his grave. Probably spilling his drink.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: Thank you. Polls show that less than 50 percent of America’s approve of the job President Obama is doing. The best thing most respondents could say about him was that he was least dangerous people they know named Hussein. Even Obama’s staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate. I do think history will remember President Obama as the first half-Black president who tried to socialize healthcare, or the second if you count Bill Clinton. Clinton’s attempts to socialize healthcare was the second most disgusting thing he did in the oval office. I can’t remember what the first thing was. I might be in favor of national healthcare if it would require all Democrats to get their heads examined. Oh I just remembered the most disgusting thing Bill Clinton did in the oval office. Liberal elites keep telling us that they know what’s best for us but you know we keep finding out that these, liberal elites, the smart people, are kind of creepy. First we had Acorn on tape counseling people on how to bring underage prostitutes from El Salvador into the country. Then we got Obama’s safe school czar, Kevin Jennings, whose apparent raison d’être is to introduce homosexuality to grade school children. Jennings’ idea of a good sixth grade field trip is to take the kids to the Tony Awards.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: He’s even written the introduction to a book titled Queering Elementary Education. Just reading the think and do section of the book can get you arrested in at least 11 states. And yes, as some of you may have guessed, it’s a pop up book.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: These days a moderate Democrat is one who thinks that children in the public schools shouldn’t be taught fisting until they’re at least 12 years old. Okay, 11. But just when you’ve forgotten about Acorn and Jennings, Peter Orszag, David Letterman, Roman Polanski, and are starting to think most Democrats are probably normal people, who’s back in the news? Yes Bill Clinton. As you’ve probably heard yes Bill Clinton was rushed to the hospital in New York last week suffering chest pains. When the doctors asked him what his symptoms were, he said he felt like two interns were sitting on his chest.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: He’s fine now, he just had to have a stent surgically inserted into his boxers. While he was in the hospital he had some major, some minor surgery. As long as he was there he got Sidney Blumenthal’s lips surgically removed from his buttocks. Yeah, these are the people who should be running your healthcare! And the economy. Yeah, the economy was supposed to be Obama’s first priority, but it’s only gotten worse since he’s been in office. Last year about 4 million Americans lost their jobs. Granted most of them were White House czars but that’s still pretty bad. In fact Sarah Palin has created more jobs than Obama has. She created 11 jobs fact checking at the AP just for the Palin autobiography.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: And this week by executive order President Obama created a commission on fiscal responsibility. The commission’s-I’ll wait for the sobbing to die down. The commission’s first recommendations, resign immediately Mr. President.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: The commission’s second recommendation is stop wasting all this money on commissions! I think we have a commission, it’s called the United States Congress. We’re paying their salaries. Were I advising the Democrats I’d recommend that they drop the, the demands that all contracts, all Democrats sign the contract pledging to believe in the same thing. And if they could just get their base to participate a little less, not at all maybe, I think it would really help. I keep expecting the real Democrats to show up in TV studios, dragging the nuts out, saying, I’m sorry, he’s escaped again, don’t worry, does this all the time. And then Joe Biden will stand up and have no pants on.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: Obama and Biden spent the last seven years caterwauling about war in Iraq. Obama says he never would have voted for it, both of them voted against the surge. Saddam Hussein would still be in power if Obama had his way. The insurgents would be in charge if they both had their way, but last week Vice President Biden said that he thinks Iraq is going to be one of the great achievements of the Obama Administration. And this week Biden’s home watching Jeopardy with the sound off. Why couldn’t Obama have picked someone respectable as his running mate, you know like John Kerry did?

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: I’m referring of course to America’s baby daddy, John Edwards. Edwards is like creepy low drive evangelical who just doesn’t happen to believe in God. But even Edwards has already accomplished more than Joe Biden has. John Edwards is now the only candidate for vice president on a major party ticket with his own sex tape which starting next week will be available in the gift shop of the Clinton Library. Also Edwards may go down in history as the man who got the National Enquirer its first Pulitzer Prize. And although if Edwards were president, I could get behind his program for national hair care. Millions of people cannot afford shampoo and conditioner! Now that the Democrats have been beaten on socialized healthcare, they’ve got nothing left other than maybe beefing up enforcement of Take Your Daughter to Work Day. At least they have nothing the voters won’t boil them in oil for proposing. They claim it’s urgent that we pass another stimulus bill. You know apparently there’s still some freshman congressman with relatives who don’t have no show government jobs. The other big ticket item on the Democrats’ agenda is card check which would take the secret ballot away from union elections. If card check passes the only hope of having open union elections again will be if Obama promises to televise them on C-SPAN. The, the Democrats’ other big idea is cap and trade, or as it’s formally known, the huge new Tax on Everything Under the Sun Act of 2010. The down side of cap and trade is your taxes will go up massively, your electricity bills will go through the roof, thousands, some say millions of Americans will lose jobs, but the up side of cap and trade is, if it passes and we defeat global warming, Washington, D.C. will see snow again.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: I, I suppose the Democrats can propose something actually popular like cutting taxes, but they can’t because they’re Democrats. Darn the luck. So it’s hard to figure what their next move will be. Maybe they’ll propose a constitutional amendment to protect your right to burn the American flag. Their main idea seems to be denounce Americans. Liberals have spent the last year responding to anyone who opposes Obama’s agenda by calling them racist evilmongers. Jimmy Carter said that an overwhelming portion of people opposed to Obama’s healthcare plans are racists. And if there’s one guy who has his finger on the pulse of what Americans feel and believe, it is Jimmy Carter!

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: Nancy Pelosi called the opponents of big government un-American. So I think that we know the Botox is seeping into her brain now. Harry Reid called them evilmongers. Wait, I’m sorry, who is Harry Reid again? CNN calls them Teabaggers, which is the gayest term I’ve ever heard on CNN other than Anderson Cooper.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: ABC calls them a mob and MSNBC calls them, oh wait, never mind, no one watches MSNBC, it doesn’t matter. The last time I heard this much race baiting invective was, well when I was in my usual front row pew at the United Church of Christ Trinity Church in Chicago. Yeah, Democrats get snippy with Bush for calling Obama evil but they’re perfectly happy to call Americans evil. Ironically since Obama was first elected, for the first time in my life I’m sometimes not proud of my country.

(Applause!)

Ann Coulter: You’ve been a great crowd, especially considering you’re all paid shills by the insurance company. Anyway thanks for being here, Keith Olbermann is a girl, God bless America and remember, Keith Olbermann is a girl!

 

http://www.speakwrite.com/cpac/